Warning: No Lie Zone

I'm not here to bullshit people -- that's the last thing on my mind(s). Speaking of minds (thanks for the great segue into the topic-at-hand) (you're welcome), I wanted to come clean to anyone who stumbles on this blog. I'm a multiple. You know, multiple personality, disorder optional. Like Sybil, but not worth making books and movies about. I don't put on a freak show of any particular popcorn-worthy content. You won't see me playing "See Jane switch" on an afternoon talk show. I lead a relatively mundane life -- when compared with Sybil. But not when compared with most people.

I've always had a talent for *cough* "Pulling myselves together" in public. It's a protection mechanism. I spent several years quite contentedly "out" to everyone I interacted with. Everyone knew I am multiple, and that was a terrific feeling, one I miss every day. In public, not playing the switch-personality-on-parade, I eventually ended up being much less of a curiosity. Just (The) Crisses. I fit in with many other gatherings of misfits, all of whom could say, simply enough, that I am multiple, without my having to go on exhibition. I thank those loving and accepting people with every ounce of [some of our/my] heart.

I've come out in recent times to only a very small handful of people, and I feel like I've rediscovered the dreaded closet. I suppose I have. More so than any other closet-able item in my life, multiplicity is important, a cornerstone fact that entirely changes the paradigm of anyone who interacts with (me/us). All of my other closet-able items are directly attributable to the fact that there are so many people of different types in my head.

It's my goal to continue to update this website and add more and more of my information to it from other sources, to pull it together as a cohesive whole, to slowly expose more & more about myself to the world as I grow older and less concerned about being judged by others. I will pull in information from Kinhost.org that is of a personal nature, so that Kinhost.org can stand as a resource for multiples everywhere and less as a place that people look at me, although being the primary author of the text there I'm sure that information about myselves will always permeate that website.

In any case, this website is not about hiding. I've never found that my life was one where camping in a closet was a great full-time occupation. It's also not a place for lying. It's a place of revelation, speculation perhaps, but not deceit.


Other Posts in December 2007

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