"Document 1"

Ice 3/6/93

No simple border this,
That edge between life and living.
One moment high upon the cliffs,
The next in a cold dark hell...
Is there anything worth feeling in a world
Where all love becomes pain?
Ambivalence, apathy, listlessness,
That is me.
Do I care enough to even write?
Why would I want you to know how I feel?
I wouldn't want anyone to know if I felt like this.

So I drag my world of light and laughter,
Love and feeling,
Through the mystic shredder.
All my sister spirits cannot help me,
This life revolved around me,
Although they try,
They find I die.

If there is no way for me to go
Except from joy to pain,
Then better that I go from joy to nothing,
To nothing where No one hears me calling,
No one heeds the Calling.
No one can, my Mother lays beneath my shattered corpse.
All I cling to shatters,
Nothing matters.